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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

rave about it, why dontchahhh!

'merica..

mary where are your pants!? ohhh, there they are! ;p
pondering on if i should do some squats, go eat ice cream or..
eat this bottle of rave hairspray.

nahh, i'll just kick some make believe air ninjas!!

ohhh no, i killed the make believe air ninja!

sneaky snake, the addison by jeffrey campbell @ solestruck
oh hiiii 90's jewelry... eye see you!
what?! are you an american or an american't?!

rave. my love.
my spray face is sexual.
diy cut off tee and shorts: thrifted finds from yesterday, booties: jeffrey campbell addison from solestruck, ying yang/evil eye necklace/clay bracelets: fantastik swap meet in las vegas, watch:michele jelly
ain't no shame in this girlies game!!! lot's of ladies ask "mary you have the sexiest juiciest hair i have ever seen! what do you use on it for all that body?!!" and my reply "rave hairspray babyyy, since the 2nd grade!!" yes, this is a true statement! i freaking love rave hairspray, i grew up using rave hairspray, it's thee best hairspray hands down!! who says??! i says!! and what i says goes:) specially since i'm a cheep a$$ (as you know now) it's only $1.99, meaning i can go through as many bottles as i want!! i can spray all day err day!! and that i do. i have a love affair with my rave, or is it an addiction? i can never tell the difference, either way i have to have it and spray before going anywhere and then again while i'm there. but it can't be any bottle, it has to be the extra large bottle and 4x the hold and most importantly it has to be aerosol! i hate the pump bottle, it's way to wet and sticky for my taste. hehe... so if you smell some familiar stench from your childhood dance competitions or it smells like your aunt rita, it's most likely me and my head full of rave!! and it's also what we call highly flammable. ;p
xM

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

wet'n wild thrifter face

color of fall-read below to know what it is ;p
basket full of goodness
manage a mary
more camo! can't wait to slash up those tees& pretty excited about the vintage  dooney&bourke find
tee:vintage, shorts:f21, belt:target, plus size woman's blouse:nordstrom rack, purse:marc by marc jacobs, sunglasses:ray ban, booties:jeffrey campbell for nasty gal, watch:michele
amazing soft amber leather cowboy boots $9&scaly black leather mini tie-up booties $5, both like new!
thrifting outfit, perfect for a stroll through the junk yard

i am a bag lady at heart, i love my weekly thrifting therapy sessions. just me, the smell of moth balls, my hand sanitizer and all the crap people have donated for me to buy.
one (wo)man's trash is another (wo)man's treasure, right?! 
some of the stuff i find though is not crap, not in my eyes anyways and that's what counts. like the cowboy boots i found today, they're practically brand new and someone decided to give them away!?? why?!! do you know what would be nice? if people like that could call me and say "hey mary, i'm tossing out my crap come get it." how ahhhsome would that be?!!  i need to figure out a "call mary she'll take all your crap off your hands" system. then i can fulfill my dreams of becoming a true hoarder! i'd never know where my feet were and have mounds of sh*t to climb over and use my new stainless steel fridge as a wardrobe! that would be amazing! 
speaking of amazing, i have been helping my friend maggie find a new fall lip color. a color that screams "fall on me fall, i am ready for you!!" something a bit more dramatic and sexual. cause fall is super sexual with all it's intense colors and magicness. we found some pics on google and kind'a had an idea in mind. we were prepared to spend some major dough on this "perfect fall shade" like $27 or so!! haha..but cheap a$$ mary had an idea!! last season wet'n wild was having a sale and all their lipsticks were $.50! there were so many awesome colors that i had to buy all of them. i remembered this deep raspberry red and dug it out and what do you know??.. it's just the color we have been searching for!! yes, you heard me right!!
wet'n wild #918D  <--- for $1.99 (current price) paired with some lip gloss is glorious and super hot!
so put on your thrifter face and go get some!:)
xM
*thanks to my photog/bestie of the day mrs.shariana suliafu toufou 

Monday, August 27, 2012

got bob on my boobs..err..mind!




diy cut off bob marley tee:target, geometric brass necklace:f21, skirt:tj maxx,  leopard calf hair stiletto booties:guess
walking into the overstock warehouse where we shoot online product is always interesting. you have to walk past a large section of customer service agents, who are all dressed for over the phone conversations. needless to say they aren't all did up or really with "it" when it comes to fashion. you should see the crusty looks i get walking through there, specially dressed like this(above)..my boss/lady/friend maggie knows what i am talking about cause she has to do that walk everyday and she is like a walking j. crew ad, always looking phenomenal. i love her, not only cause we both consider leopard our favorite color but cause she get's it with fashion and is a fireball of fun (creep her on www.theconfessionsofaredhead.blogspot.com)
after a long day of shooting product at the O.co my photog friend, cody, was happy to take my outfit post pics. 
seriously he is the bong!! yes the bong! what? i got marley on my boobs..err. mind!!
xM

watch for this trend: the mature woman's crop pant

get'n crazy in geriatric crop pants
1.why does this self inflicted c.t(camel toe)feel so good? 2.i think i wee-weed?
3.self inflicted wedgie whilst squeezing my buns tight  4.haha.. cody farted!!
cause my mom tells me i'm pretty.
hold on to my mighty crop pant draw strings, i'm about to give you a good ride babyy!
thank u cody for your amazing photog skills&for letting me model with your sweet frames!
in my post below i shared a bit about my feelings about the outfits i model for overstock.com. i'm not bitching, cause as a model you are the "hanger" for the client, yes i get that and yes i know and yes i freaking love it. but these are my feelings....as you know when i walk into the overstock dressing room i either 1.do the running man and booty bump squealing with a big mary grin cause there are dresses, bikinis or bras for me to model or 2.see outfits that have way to much fabric for my claustrophobic skin(which will be the next 4months for me) and make the "mary face" you literally need to scrape it off the floor, otherwise called the "mary wahh-face". today was a "mary wahh-face" day because the first thing i noticed were jackets and big heavy sweaters:( boo.. but then i noticed a section filled with every khaki colored crop pant you could imagine.
the mature woman's crop pant. 
i got giddy, why? cause i'm a freak and i like weird things, like the crop pant. pretty much if it's a weird item to model and the other models won't model it (cause they're worried about looking dumb and ugly) that's where i come in! i'm not scurred! put those geriatric crop pants on me!! the peeps over at the O.co know me and i appreciate the photogs who put up with my multiple personalities, cause they never know what i'm gonna pull. they let me make my pretty faces and still shoot my not so pretty faces. hence all these amazing images above! but hey-we have a blast! i love those guys, specially my maggerella(pictured above swinging on my drawstrings)! 
who said you can't be mental and make money at the same time? they obviously don't know shit! :) "just beee yourself"-genie 
xM




Friday, August 24, 2012

the black dress and cheap bras











today only i'll be selling for the low price of $10.99!! woohoo jk.. you wish! so yesterday at overstock we shot business suits and mother of the bride dresses. i'm not a fan of a lot of clothing that restricts, i hate loads of layers, i just feel so claustrophobic. like my skin is drowning in cotton! it's funny cause most the models who go in to shoot love the suits and the jackets and work it like no tomorrow..i just feel awkward! it's like my body doesn't know how to pose when they put me in those damn suits! my face goes all sad and ugly, i turn into the worst model everr & they maybe get 2 pics of me to chose for the website. but you put me in a bikini or a bra and "bam" mean muggin mary is in the house, flipping her hair and given those amazing mary faces and doing my happy hump dance!! must be the latin in me.. speaking of bras-overstock just started selling bras, i am their first bra model:) we shot those last friday and they are now up on the site for your viewing pleasures. don't be a perv face. so back to my day, after shooting the suits and mother of the bride sets they surprised me with the most fabulous "morticia addams" couture like dress i have ever seen. their buyer from NY had shipped it for them to shoot specially on me(i like to tell myself that). it was like creepy gooey gory goodness in the form of a dress, i had to pour myself into it, or pour it on me cause that's what it looked like. luckily it said "off the shoulder" dress in the notes because that mo-fo was tricky to figure out. the back looks like it could be the font because it does that j-lo super deep v. but we got it and.. let's be honest how amazing does it make my a$$ look!!? this dress is freaking amaze balls! I might have to order it for me cause it's gorgeous and it now has my stench all over it(litereally)! ha
xM 

Monday, August 20, 2012

magical mondays come from sinful sundays!









hello magical monday, hopefully to be like magic mike complete with half naked sweaty men and grinding hip movements with teeny tiny man thongs! ahhh, if only monday's were magic mike days it would be so must better to face! hehe.. so yesterday was sinful sunday, i like to call my sunday photo shoot days sinful because most of the time they involve someone getting nekked! lol.. jk we keep it at a pg13 level kids, i'm old and married. the concept for yesterday's shoot was 1940's old hollywood glamour puss! mr. lymon winn and dino and carlo panti produced it all and had about 3 makeup artists and 3 hair people and shot about 15models or so. it was a big beautiful orgy! i mean shoot around!! hehe.. the 13 other models/girls were kind of shy but maybe because they were intimidated by my bi-lingual rap skillz and my home slice miss barby garcia's(from barby with a y bytch) signing and groaning skillz!! we tore that place up with our loca-latin energy.. talk about reality show in yo face!! oh you didn't know we'd be filming (on our iPhones of course) a music video complete with butt and boob turntables, did yahh?! you can see the video if your friend's with me on Facebook and if not add me---> mary ann cruz-horne ((bamm)) speaking of which, i should make it music video monday! yeahhh!! happy monday yahh'l, hope your week is ahhmazing!
xM


Sunday, August 19, 2012

bday weeeekend!!!


pics from our first yr celebrating together in 2003
pre-bday dinner@high west distillery, park city ut
moe got the bison burger and frites and i got the chicken schnitzel with baby carrots and spinich  
bday morning surprises&presents
tickets!!
 bday suite for my sweet, fun times with our families
 

my two dad's (moe's dad&my dad)
first time being this close to an owl
dang good dogs, his and hers
 flash back to 2003 yo!! yes, morgan started dating me when i was 15!! haha.. jk. i'm not as old as i look, or was that as young as i look? well what ever it is i will always be 23! bahaha.. so those pics are from the first year we started dating, which in february 2013 will be 10years!! 10 freaking years! that's so crazy to me, time sure does fly by! we have been through some awesome happy times and some for better lack of wording straight up sh*tty times. i'm not gonna lie and say it has been magical the whole time because anyone who has been in a long term relationship who says that is blowing smoke up your a$$! don't let that scare you though because although they can be a lot of work they are also very rewarding, is amazing tho see where life has take'n us and how much we have achieved together :)
so any who... moe's bday weekend went off with out a hitch!! it turned out even better than what i had planned:) i was a little pissy because we had originally planned a bday friend bbq on sat, his birthday, but the majority of all his buddies had other plans. so we rescheduled his bbq for next sat instead, which worked out waaay better because moe's dad surprised us with bees (utah minor baseball league that farms for the l.a angels) suite tickets!! it was the second to last home game for the bees so they had this massive firework display, it was like the whole stadium was celebrating morgan's birthday!! ohhh and sometime around the 5th inning we went to go get some chicago dogs and there was some random guy standing around with an owl?! so of course i had to get a pic with the owl, i'd never been that close to an owl before! those birds are huuuge!!! i felt like it could tear my face off like if it ate bath salts- good thing they hate bath salts, i asked. under that smile i have i'm actually whispering to it "holy f#*k, don't peck my eyes out please mr.owl head!" i now have mad respect for owls i will continue to admire them from a far. it was definitely a happy birthday weekend for my babe and i wish to him that all his dreams and wishes come true this year! and to all the leos/aug bdays out there- happy birthday to you too!!
xM