if you've been following this little bloggie of mine for a while you know that i have undergone
6 failed rounds of in vitro fertilization the past 3 years in a row.
and if you are new to mahh bloggie, hello and welcome:)
ivf is not easy on your body, your mind, your wallet, your self esteem and especially your heart.
through the smiles and the jokes this crazy fun lady, me, is heart broken.
but that is not going to stop me from living my life to the fullest:)
i've had a lot of people ask how i got into wanting to do a competition. i have always been a fan of the gym, of sports and of being physically active. i played basketball and volleyball for 6years in jr. high and high school so i learned a lot of discipline and gained knowledge of my muscles from an early age. that doesn't mean i ate healthy though. i thought that if i did cardio i could live on candy. which i did, i lived on sour patch kids, hot tamales, swedish fish, anything sugary and sweet- i ate it. my husband was always worried about my eating habits but i would always say "i'm healthy, i work out."
boy was i wrong!
after my 6th failed ivf in june i decided i needed a break.
my body needed a break from all the hormones and all the chemicals i had been injecting into myself for the past 3yrs.
i didn't feel like myself at all, i felt like i had lost who i was and my happiness.
i was first introduced to the npc bikini competition around 2009, when my friend kendi asked me to do her hair and makeup for her first competition. i had no idea what the competition was about, i just remember seeing her the morning of the show and looking at her thin healthy ripped body and thinking
"holy crap, you look ahhhhhmazing!!!! your biceps, your abs, your thighs!!! i want to look like that some day!!"
after doing kendi's hair and makeup i had other girls from her team approach me over the years to do their hair and makeup for their shows. another really good friend of mine angela was a big inspiration as well and introduced me to their coaches, shane and tiffany heugly(pronounced huge-lee). i went with angela to the 2011 npc vegas show, which is a huuuge show. back stage i met an asspo (ass- inspiration lol) and girl crush of mine, vida guerra. i was so impressed with all the women at the competition. their bodies were incredible, you could tell it was all hard work and pure dedication.
from that moment on i decided, after i get pregnant i am going to do one of these competitions and i am going to be in the best shape of my life. just like all these ladies.
before my last try at ivf i decided to gain weight and i stopped working out, i thought maybe that would help me get pregnant. i gained 15lbs of fat:(
after learning that the ivf didn't take i was devastated.
i was babyless and chubby(for me).
i'm not one to sit and sulk, i think my a.d.d kicks in too fast (thank goodness) and it did..
i went from crying to motivated:)
i remembered my dream of wanting to be "that girl" that ripped hot muscly in shape healthy girl.
that's when i acted on my dream to compete.
the fire in me was burning.
i took that devastation and quickly turned it into fuel to propel me through my whole training process and to the road of victory and self discovery.
to be continued..